Thursday, December 22, 2011

..::You::.. written by me


My heart is open and free. It has been filled to the brim with love.
 Your love
My love
 Our love
I am so in love beyond a definition. Words couldn't possibly compare.
I want you
I Need you
I Adore you
I'll stay by your side through the good and the bad.
Holding you
Helping you
Believing in you
Our love will last through all the tests of time.
Then
Now
Forever
I Love You


Tuesday, December 20, 2011

{{ My beautiful things }} written by me


Change. Everything is changing. My life is changing. I, too, am changing. The world outside looks different, foreign, and beautiful. It's quiet and still, as though it is waiting for me, reaching for me. There are things, small things, big things, wonderful things, that I notice much closer now.Things that distract me and catch my eyes differently. It's as though my heart wants to grab every detail in remembrance and capture it in its own little photographs. I play these photographs my heart has taken over and over in my head, and I place them along the walls of my soul.
These are my beautiful things.

 I cherish these ornaments of love and familiar warmth deeply, they are parts of me that make me whole. I find myself looking towards the decor along my heart and soul, in times of uncertainty and anxiousness, to find comfort and calm. It's bittersweet and wonderful all at once. Although my things are closest to my heart, I feel a fog of distance circling my feet, rising slowly, cold and bare. I feel myself missing them, already, as I pull them closer to me. I want to gather my lovely photographs and place them gently inside my heart,wrapped in safe affection and familiar, locking the door safely. I want to take the key and place it into my own pocket so I will always have access to my beautiful things, my loves, my familiar...whenever I want to or need to. But I can't. Right now, I just can't. Of course, to stay would be my safe harbor. I would remain rooted in the garden I have always grown in, knowing that there will always be sunshine for me to flourish and bloom. If I stayed. But I am leaving. I am uprooting from the garden I have always grown in. Some of my roots twist and bend, unknowing and unsure. Other roots gently form and embrace, ready and awaiting.
My heart has never felt so sure, so compelled, so complete. I feel as though fear is following me, keeping a watchful stare on me, ready to pounce at any stumble. But I look behind at that fear ,although still trailing behind me, I am walking ahead. This time, I feel the push, the pull, the force of my heart moving me forward. All my beautiful things poke and prod at me, at my sadness, and I turn my head to look back at them with intention and doubt. But my heart interrupts, gently grabbing me by the chin moving my head forward whispering, "keep going, I'm waiting".
 This is different and new. I look outside myself and all these walls of my new world are unfolding, and creating beautiful shapes and patterns. All the colors are brilliant and bold, melting into my eyes trickling down into my heart. I can taste the air on my tongue, full of new dreams and promises. The ground under my feet shifts and forms creating my foundation. The wind dances along my skin and absorbs into my core. The endless sky seems to open up, just for me.
 This world is new, this is mine.
My beautiful things, my photographs along the walls of my soul, my familiar...will always be right where they have always been. Gently wrapped in safe affection and familiar, adorn along the walls inside my heart. But I am not locking the door and the key is not mine to hold. I am leaving the door of my heart open, where I shall come back to time and time again, when I am feeling uncertain or longing for them. I will hold them close as I always have, embracing, comforting and relating. I understand now that all my cherished beautiful things are forever mine to hold, forever mine to keep, forever mine to love, no matter how far away I may go. I have come to understand that, as I leave and move forward on my journey, all my beautiful things are still...right there with me always. In this understanding I find my calm, my familiar, my safe harbor.
...I am ready...

My Light

People who have come to know the joy of God do not deny the darkness, but they choose not to live in it. They claim that the light that shines in the darkness can be trusted more than the darkness itself and that a little bit of light can dispel a lot of darkness.

Monday, December 19, 2011

~Release~




If what we call love doesn’t take us beyond ourselves, it is not really love. If we have the idea that love is characterized as cautious, wise, sensible, shrewd, and never taken to extremes, we have missed the true meaning.

{ Fly }


 I'm learning how to fly
 by spreading my wings

 I'm letting go of what I've always had
 to hold onto what I've always wanted

 

Sunday, December 11, 2011

~Be Love Always~ by me

Love

Breathe

Embrace

Forgive

Accept

Respect

Enjoy

Laugh

Understand

Protect

Encourage

Believe

Guide

Release

Appreciate

Devote

Adore

Honor

Value

Be

Love

Always




Monday, December 05, 2011

.::In My Eyes::. written by me


In the eyes of love, the world becomes small, in the shape of your being, in the heart of a man.
 In the eyes of love, my heart becomes fragile in your strong hands, your arms become a lighthouse bringing me safely home to you, and time becomes a priceless gift,wrapped in fate with a ribbon of trust, my endless gift to you, when love shares your name. In the eyes of love, no mountain is an obstacle to cross, No ocean too deep to keep me at bay from you. In the eyes of love, your face is all I see, in the reflection of my heart, standing right next to me, because in my eyes you are my love~

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I am ~ written by me


I am looking ahead , at this journey that I am facing
I am looking within, at this love that I am embracing
I am taking this chance, the one that I have been given
I am creating this life, the one that I am living
I am following my heart, my guiding light I'll always follow
I am welcoming brand new changes, with every new tomorrow
I am opening my hearts lock, he's the one who holds the key
I am following my path, leading me where I am meant to be
I am believing trustingly in love, every part of it is true
I am exactly where I am meant to be, when I am right next to you

~If nothing ever changed, there would never be butterflies~


Sunday, November 27, 2011

.::I Promise::.

I promise to fight for you,
compromise for you and sacrifice for you and our love,
With all of my heart.

I love you this much to miss you incredibly when we are apart,
No matter what length of time it may be, regardless of the distance
or situation.

I love you this much to believe in our love and
our relationship, to stand by you through the worst of times and the best of times,
to have faith in our strength as a couple
and to never, ever, give up on us.

I promise to always be by your side, with gentle words and a loving touch,
to never judge you or doubt, to always encourage and inspire your
dreams and goals, I promise to always let you be you when you are with me.

I promise to spend the rest of my life with you loving you and accepting you
for who you are, I promise to be there
when you need me or want me, to remain faithful and true
to you and what we have together.

I promise to never want to leave you or live without you,I promise my heart eternally
belongs to you, forever, heart and soul.

This I promise you, I love you this much

Monday, November 21, 2011

.::Still::.

Even after all these years
 even after how close we have become
even after all the love we have shared
he still gives me butterflies
just like the first day that we met 


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Our Fate~ written by me

Many people throw around the word "Fate". But I don't believe some people actually know or understand what the word Fate really means.

FATEthe universal principle or ultimate agency by which the order of things is presumably prescribed; the decreed cause of events; time/ that which is inevitably predetermined; destiny/a prophetic declaration of what must be.

Some people like to use the word Fate carelessly,randomly,incorrectly. They can throw the word Fate into an explanation of events or occurrences, without any viable reasoning to do so.  They irrationally force the word Fate into trying to justify mistakes,errors and things that just simply didn't work out.  That isn't what Fate is at all.

               I have my own view and definition of Fate. I believe that Fate has certainly played a large part of my life, past and present, and I have a deep understanding of its meaning and the purpose of my pathway it has lead me on, the path that I am traveling on today. Relationships are revolved around Fate in every way possible. The things we say, the things we do, the way we love~it all surrounds and evolves around the outcome~our Fate. Fate is what brings two people together, and it is also what tears two people apart. Its all part of the plan.
             Along with Fate we must endure lessons in order for fate to flourish and roll out the carpet for our destiny. Lessons are a must for Fate to prevail. Everyone has their own lessons, or mistakes as they are better known. Everyone has their own mistakes that teach us of uncovering our true selves, our true feelings, and also our true awaiting Fate. In relationships, there is a line between Fate and human error, but some fail to see that, and that is where the lessons come into play. For instance, many people in relationships are forced apart by situations, events, or simple curiosity. It happens. It's hard, it hurts, and like any warm blooded human being the process of trying to "move on" is often times seeked out in order to allude the pain or cover the hurt. It's natural. We run to find the "fix" to fill our void of losing what we loved so dearly, in hopes to heal the hurt. The next awaiting victim to fill that void becomes our next partner in a relationship. Hey, they are there, they care, so it will work for now, right?
              No. Not when Fate is involved. The fix relationship is great at first, they take your mind off the last love for awhile and jump when you say jump. Who wouldn't be happy with that! It's the wonderful "new" feeling that comes along with any relationship...for awhile...until the mask begins to hurt and begins to not fit the right way anymore. That new fix is not serving their purpose any longer. The heart longs for the familiar love and connection it had beforehand and the relationship they currently have dwindles, the two become distant and unconnected and the relationship slowly begins to fade. When someone is always on your mind and always in your heart and the love the two shared never really went away, how could one possibly stay committed to someone else and give them all they have from their heart and soul? They can't. It just isn't possible. If someone isn't fully  honest with who they are with, cheats on them as well, isn't giving them all they have heart and soul and isn't who they truly are when they are around them, what on earth would make anyone believe that those two people were brought together by Fate or that sort of relationship has anything to do with Fate at all? It doesn't. 
                       The heart only has room for one, some may come and visit and spark interest and stir up emotions,some may also stay for a short while,  but ultimately, the heart only holds true to one.  These things, from my experiences, are what I believe to be true. If you let someone go, and pursue a relationship with another, but all you can do is think about the person you let go and all your heart tells you to do is turn around and go back to who it holds dear, then that is Fate nudging you. Often times people try to ignore those nudges. They try to set aside the emotions and they try to conceal it by continuously filling the void with someone else, but then Fate starts to push harder. Pushing and pushing and pushing, But eventually Fate will without a doubt push you right back into the direction it wants your heart to go,the place you left, to the person it wants to love, and there isn't a damn thing anyone can do about it.
        Fate is going to lead us where we are truly meant to be, Fate makes us follow our hearts and brings us back to who we are meant to love and give our love to, who we are meant to give our hearts to... or who already has had our heart all along. I believe this with all of my heart.
               After all, Fate has lead me to where I am today. I'm back on this path where my heart and his has been pushing to return to since the moment it mistakenly veered off path. Fate has been the reason past relationships have failed. Even when trying, continuously trying, Fate WILL tear two people apart in order to bring back together those who are meant to be together. That is exactly what Fate has done, and here we are, together.
              Would I go back and change things if I could? Of course. But I am grateful for all the mistakes we have both endured because those mistakes are what makes us appreciate and value what we have missed, what we have been waiting for for so long and the incredible love,closeness and passionthat we have in each other now. It allows us to see the deep connection and unbreakable love that keeps two people connected through time and distance, all this time, the Fate that has kept us connected from day one.
            So yes, I believe in Fate with all my heart and soul. I'm blessed to say that Fate has brought us back together and he is and always has been the love of my life, my soul mate, my puzzle piece that completes me, the one who holds my heart,my future, my everything.
      This is where we are meant to be.
This is our Fate

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Heaven~ Bryan Adams

Oh thinkin' about all our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free
Now nothing can take you away from me
We've been down that road before
But that's over now
You keep me comin' back for more

And baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

Oh once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feelin' down
Now nothin' can change what you mean to me
Oh there's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
'Cause our love will light the way

And Baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

I've been waitin' for so long
For somethin' to arrive
For love to come along
Now our dreams are comin' true
Through the good times and the bad
I'll be standin' there by you

And baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven, heaven

You're all that I want
You're all that I need

We're in heaven
We're in heaven
We're in heaven
<3

Thursday, November 10, 2011

~Our Love Story~ photo taken by me

~Everyone wants to find that fairytale love story~
~I've found mine with you~

photo taken by me

11-11-11

Happy Birthday Ciera Rain
11-11-11
My beautiful brown eyed baby girl







Sunday, November 06, 2011


{{ I simply love him, with all of my heart and soul }}

{{ I'll simply follow my heart, wherever it may lead }}

{{ my heart is simply his, forever his to hold }}

{{ I know with all my heart, we are simply meant to be }}

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Saturday, October 29, 2011

.::Our Pumpkins::.


Happy Halloween Everyone! This is a picture of my daughters pumpkin (on the left) and mine. We had alot of fun doing these! My daughter used this cool new pumpkin design kit (no knives involved and she could do it herself), it's kind of like light-brights for pumpkins and it lights up in the dark :) She loved it! I carved mine the old fashioned way. Hers is a cat, with added whiskers made from pipe cleaners, and mine is a vampire, look at the fangs! We had alot of fun getting all the "guts" out of our pumpkins too! Ciera thought is was hilarious!
One of the best things I have always loved about the Halloween season is carving pumpkins, it is always so much fun :)
 

Friday, October 28, 2011


Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." {1 Corinthians 13: 4-7} 

.::I Love::. written by me

I love that I can be myself around you
 I love that I can be silly, and you'll be silly too
 I love that we know eachother,so very well
 I love that we can make it through high-water and hell
 I love that our hearts connect in so many ways
         I love that feeling I get when one of our songs play
 I love how your hand fits perfectly with mine
     I love that we're still here, after all this time
       I love how you make me smile,even when I am mad
     I love how you make me feel wonderful, even when I feel bad
        I love the truth in your eyes and the passion in your voice
       I love that loving you is not even a choice
I love your heartbeat when you lay next to me
I love that you and I are simply meant to be
I love how our love is real, strong and true
but mostly I love that I'm in love with you

Thursday, October 27, 2011

~Free~

"When you know yourself as fully loved, you will be able to give according to the other's capacity to receive, and you will be able to receive according to the other's capacity to give. You will be grateful for what is given to you without clinging to it, and joyful for what you can give without bragging about it. You will be a free person, free to love."

.::Limitless::. written by me

Love is limitless. No walls. No boundaries. As far and as deep as one could imagine, love is a permanent structure that spreads its roots into the soul, forever becoming a piece of who we are, what we are. Love, forever pursuing in our hopes,dreams and desires, it's an endless satisfaction never evading the hearts calling. It is an infinite endeavor to be, to have, to know, to become~LOVE. Love is limiteless. No walls. No boundaries, just as the ocean and the sunset seemingly never end, because our love never ends~
Photo taken by me

~Things I Believe~ written by me


I believe that laughter is the best medicine

I believe that true Love happens only once in a lifetime

I believe in the innocence in young children

I believe that tomorrow is always a new day

I believe in following my heart and listening to my head equally

I believe in forgiveness

I believe in giving more then one should take

I believe that fate has a special meaning for us all

I believe in love with all my heart

I believe in me

I think you and I...

...could take on the world.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Who are YOU?

Reclaim your born identity, your original nature, the part of you that has nothing to prove or hide or protect, where you are at peace with being fully yourself. This is your true face, the one that radiated with pure potential and light when you were a baby, before the thief called time and the thugs named judgment and conformity, left you clutching at the sculpted masks of who you think you’re supposed to be.

We tend to do our own form of faceoff when it comes to conformity. We spend so much time wearing the masks of who we think we’re supposed to be, or mindlessly wearing the masks that will gain us approval that pretending becomes second nature and we easily forget who we really are. The desire for approval is insatiable in any case. Once you decide you need it, you seek it out like a drug. There are so many stereotypes and expectations vying for your loyalty that it’s easy to forget that true joy in life is found in authenticity. One day you look around your workplace, school, family, church, neighborhood, species….and realize you’ve lost yourself in the crowd. It’s like looking in a mirror. Only not.

 It always pays to be yourself. Think of it this way. Life has so much in store for you by way of gifts and blessings, but if you make it hard to find you because you’re busy pretending to be someone else, then you can’t be surprised that you miss out. It’s like complaining about missing out on the winning lottery ticket if you put someone else’s name on the ticket.

The problem is that a lot of the time, some people don't know who they are. You have to KNOW who you are, in order to BE who you are.  You have to take some of the masks off to remind yourself who you are. Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with wearing masks. They serve an essential purpose if you use them skillfully; the parent’s mask, the sibling’s mask, the helper’s mask, the teacher’s mask, the listening friend’s mask, the competent achiever’s mask, the passionate activist’s mask, to name a few. There are healthy masks and unhealthy masks, like the ruthless “don’t get in my way” mask and the “I don’t need anybody” mask. The unhealthy masks hide your essential nature behind a façade of protection, fear and self loathing.

 None of the masks, healthy or not, fully define you. They change constantly, and are easy to mistake for the real you. So you end up spending all your time behind masks and forgetting who you are at your essence.
So who are you? And I don’t mean what gender, religion, ethnicity, class, personality type, sexual orientation, profession, enneagram combination, star sign, age or stage in life are you.
Who are YOU??

Your identity and roles change all the time. Your essence never changes. Your essence is not about what you do. It’s about who you are.  We all have our challenges, where our usual roles are taken from us, and they become opportunities to find deeper strength and identity. 

  Strip away some of the layers of who you think you are, what you do, and who other people expect you to be. Some of them are amazing skills, and fine qualities. They are awesome expressions of who you are, but they aren’t in themselves YOU. Some of them are protections and delusions. You have been wearing some of them for so long that it’s hard to tell the mask from the face. Step outside of as many identities and roles as you can, even for a few moments and you will see beyond them to your essence. You may need to go to great lengths to recover this true identity but you will survive. In fact you will thrive once you realize that most of the struggle is within yourself. But it’s worth the effort. The reward is authenticity, your born supremacy.

The incredible thing is that as you reconnect with your true essence, you discover mastery at knowing which roles to play and why; you become more natural and less attached to your changing identity. So start digging a little deeper into your essence today so that you can rediscover the agreement you made with your true nature long ago; your born ultimatum that the more authentic your life, the more joy you will experience. Authenticity is the primary quality you will look back on at the end of your days to measure the impact of your life.

When we die and go to Heaven, our Maker is not going to say, "Why didn’t you discover the cure for such and such?" The only thing we’re going to be asked at that precious moment is, "Why didn’t you become you?"

Thursday, October 13, 2011

~this awakening~ written by me

There is an awakening within me, all around me, throughout me. Like the bursts of the suns rays through the clouds-it shines. This part of me fuels my heart and guides my feet-leading me. I am following every step of the way. There is no denying, it's who I am, who I was, and who I will become. Forever a part of me, this awakening brings my dreams to life- and I am living them everyday ~
                                                                ~photo taken by me~

Friday, September 30, 2011

~To Know~ written by me

       To know that love is real...is astounding. Many people say that the best things in life cannot be seen of touched. I disagree. Love runs through my veins, it flushes my skin, love fills my heart to the brim, it brightens my eyes with happiness, it warms my soul with the passion of its presence, it swells my thoughts with exhilaration, it embraces me with its power. Love is seen and felt all around me and throughout me. Love is a part of me. One of the greatest things in life; love. To know the love I feel and share, throughout my heart and soul is real....is so beautiful~

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

.::Moments::. written by me

In a single perfect moment
everything can change
like the fire felt through solid ice
with the touch of a lovers hand

In a single warm embrace
towering walls can come crumbling to the ground
held tight and pulled in close
a lost soul can quickly be found

In a single loving look
the depths of love can be revealed
layer by layer gently unfolding
fragile wounds gracefully healed

In a single soft kiss
the world can be set ablaze
burning fire of passion and desire
both hearts burst into flames

In a single gentle touch
forever can be felt
never letting go of what you love and need
every caress can make the heart melt

In a single honest word
every piece can be put back together
making something brand new and unbreakable
creating love that lasts forever




Monday, June 13, 2011

~sometimes~ written by me


Sometimes the most beautiful things in the world are those that are unexpected...like the sun breaking through the clouds on a cloudy day...and we capture them in our hearts forever...like a photograph


~photo taken by me~

Saturday, June 11, 2011

.::Pieces to a Puzzle::. written by me

It's crazy how things work out sometimes...how some things fall apart and some things come together-some things don't last and some things last forever. I suppose everything does happen for a reason. I suppose we are all part of this wheel that keeps turning and changing our lives, pushing us closer to where we are meant to go, and further away from where we came. Have you ever noticed how nothing ever really stays the same? Whether that change is good or bad, whether that change brings about the best in us or forces out the bad, everything changes. When I look back on the moments in my life in the past, it all seems like a blur , as if those experiences never happened. I can't imagine any of those moments as permanent pieces in my life, however, each phase brought me to the point in my life that I am at today.  I see how pieces of my past have fallen into place,into another puzzle, they were not meant for mine. I have found that the pieces that I have been looking for are gently falling into place, and they are fitting quite nicely. The wrong pieces cannot be forced into a puzzle in which it does not fit, no matter how much you want it to and no matter if it looks as though it could fit, it won't.  The only thing that is promised is change. The good and the bad. As for  me, I adore change. Everything falls apart and comes together so we all can find the correct puzzle pieces that fit into our own puzzle.  Everything happened, happens and will happen for a reason~

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Blue,White and Red ♥

~ I have been contmeplating lately about visiting France. I have always wanted to visit the place where my ancestors came from. France is such a beautiful and exotic place to me! It has some of the most prestine beaches in Europe, as well as the highest mountains with lovely scenery, some of the finest historic monuments, the most beautiful cities, the most idyllic countryside, the most breathtaking castles and architectural marvels, and some of the finest food and distinct cultural heritage...not to mention France is one of the world’s great destinations for lovers and let's face it, who doesn't want to visit Paris! Paris, the city of light and love, is without a doubt one of the most beautiful cities on the planet! This glorious European country is a timeless land whose people have a natural joie de vivre and savoir- faire. I could go on and on about this dream-come-to-life-place~ It's all beautiful in every aspect in my eyes. I think I am very lucky to have ancestor bloodlines and roots stemming from this divine part of the world. It's kind of funny to me, every time I see the Red,White and Blue of the American flag I always think of the Blue,White and Red colors of the French flag. A visit to France is definitely on my list of things to do! ♥

.::Here I Am::. written by me

Unraveling myself, where shall I begin
Tangled within, again from the end
gently unwind the knots along my soul
I now feel my pieces becoming whole
Here I am
Eyes not set ahead, no hands reaching behind
Not giving without, no trail left behind
I am new
Unfolded throughout, lifted above
 Hatred forgotten, knowledge of love
forgive and accept, left and let go
Open a new chapter, I've paid what I owe
 I am free
Slate wiped clean, canvas cleared
Courage consumes me, digest what is feared
Back on my feet, head towards the sky
warmth returns to heart chambers
fire returns to my eyes
 I am eternal
Chance for beginning, lay to rest empathy
Lost the force of the crowd, no one here but me
Hand in hand with the unknowing
Embracing its complex simplicity
Here I am

Saturday, February 05, 2011

.::Become::. written by me

Falling on me like the the moon at midnight sea
crashing down around me like the sun's reverie
pulling me from inside petal by petal in full bloom
my stem is pulled from my faulty roots
My hands held open hold many empty things
tightly tangled and tattered, ragged of my friction
fingers run along hearts maps and dream destinations
I feel the pulse of many apprehensive beats
Cohesion of thoughts blend behind my eyes
a mused embrace erupting under ardent will
images reflect a default world
visions seem to mimic the real
heart layered with familiar refuge
peeking through the cracks of a yearning sou
ldecadent horizons await a fervent arrival
boundaries left broken and bare
I stand against the sky and take in what I will
take from me only breath and memory to prevail
a canvas  awaiting vast refinement
a portrait flowing a virtuous spill